Deadpool to Vampire
by Killuminator
Summary: Deadpool got hired by Mikogami to protect the school from Fairy Tail. Come and see how the school survive the threat of Fairy Tail, if they could survive Deadpool's insanity first.
1. The Job

**Author's note : I know I got some going on stories that needed to be done, but damn it I can't stop the imagination flow, and once I got the idea, I can't rest until I wrote this down. Anyway, I got the idea when I was scrolling around FanFiction site, and I think the idea is good.**

**So people, if you like it, review and I'll write some more of the good stuffs.**

-In an apartment in New York-

It was the ordinary day of the awesome Deadpool, the handsome Merc with a Mouth, currently eating pizza with cheezits topping in his bed with two babes laying on his sides. He was done with the last slice before he unzipped his pants and…

"**Dude, dafuq you doing on my laptop ?" *Reading the written text* "Get the fuck back in the story before I took away your Golden Girls collection and throw you into a pit full with Squirrel Girls."**

"Okay man, but you know how I break the 4th wall. Besides, a little hanky spanky action wouldn't hurt. Much."

"**This story is T-rate until I decided otherwise. Now get back in." *Kick Deadpool back into story*.**

And so, it was the normal day of Deadpool, eating Cheezits, watching Golden Girls when a knock came at the door.

"For the last time I didn't know where that Mormon you sent here went." Deadpool yelled when he opened the door.

"**Dude you know. You just deny the god damn responsibility."**

"They are annoying as fuck. No, fuck would be more comfortable than a Mormon."

"Um who are you talking to ?" A girl in black raven hair at the doorstep asked. She was wearing a black dress with a purple corset. Her hair was tied in to two ponytails on the sides of her head.

"Who are you ?" Deadpool asked.

"My name is Ruby. My master has a job for you." The girl spoke.

"Master ? So you like S&M ? How about some hanky spanky actions ?" He plainly asked much to the embarrassment of the girl.

"**Deadpool." *pointed at pit filled with Squirrel Girls.***

"Oh god no it's not like that, with master I mean employer." Ruby sighed. "Though I admit I am an M to the core."

"Ahem, so anyway, what is this job ?"

"We run a school for monsters, and we need your protection for the students."

"Come inside. S.H.I.E.L.D. could be watching my movements. Hate the nuts Fury." He motioned her to come closer.

"Oh okay."

"Sit." Deadpool motioned to the old run down couch.

"Monsters huh ?" Somehow Deadpool wasn't surprised. He had seen enough of weird shits happened in his long life as merc to be surprised by something like this anymore. Technically, mutants and monsters are quite alike.

"Yes." Ruby nodded to confirm the fact.

"So what is the pay ?"

"5 million dollars each year." Deadpool nearly choked on cheese when he heard this.

"You better not be shitting me. Take me to your employer, I need to talk with him." Deadpool said in his serious business voice.

"Certainly. When do you wish to leave ?"

"Let me pack my gears first." He said as he went back to his room. Deadpool put on his normal red and black suit, his twin indestructible katana and the two Uzis around his waist. Also he put on his magical limitless pouches where he stored all his weapons, Cheese puffs, Ipod with Golden Girls collection and some spare suits.

"Man when did I get all this stuffs ?"

"**This is my story, so I give you some stuffs that you need."**

"Did I ever say I love you ?"

"**No, I am not gay, now get away from my screen."**

"All right all right." He opened the door. "I'm ready."

"Okay, we are going to Japan. I have a plane tickets ready." Ruby spoke after she turned off the phone.

"Screw that, I have a faster way." Deadpool said as he held Ruby's waist and pushed a button on his belt. The teleporter was ready as Deadpool spoke.

"Destination, Japan." And the was followed with "Wheeezze !" as the spinning effect of the teleporter.

-Japan-

The two reappeared at a bus stop looking down to a lake filled with red liquid, and on the dry wood there were crows flying around and a castle and some apartment buildings straight out from the ghettos. The only missing things were drive by, humanoid chalk line form in a puddle of blood and crackling thunder in the dark cloud to get the feelings complete.

"Dude, did you transfer me in a horror movie ?"

"**Nope. This is where you must be. Now let me finish this."**

"This way please." Ruby motioned and Deadpool followed. They came to a stop at the door of a massive office filled with books on all sides.

"Now this is something I would like to store all my Bea Arthur collection." Deadpool dryly commented.

"Mr. Wade Wilson, I see you have arrived." A man in a white priest robe with eerie glowing yellow eyes spoke from his desk.

"Please don't tell me you are a Mormon."

"No I am not. My name is Tenmei Mikogami." The man chuckled. "Please sit down." He said and Deadpool applied. "I believe you accepted my offer."

"What exactly do I have to do ?" Deadpool said as he munched down some chimichangas he pulled out of his pouch. Just because he can.

"I want you to protect the students of my school from harms, namely a group of half breeds who maned themselves Fairy Tail."

"Gayyyyyyyy…"

"The harms came from both from outside and inside the school. Use as much necessary force as you want, lethal method are allowed, as long as you leave one for interrogation. The payment is 5 mil a year, you can quit whenever you want. How about it ?"

"Throw in a monthly supply of Cheeze crackers, Cheese puffs and Cheezits all together and we got a deal. Half now, half after the job is done. I also want all the porn bills taken care of back in NY."

"Had been done." Mikogami snapped his finger and Ruby came out with a suitcase. "As you wish, 2,5 mil now, the rest at the end of the year." He said as he handed to case to Deadpool. "Ruby will show you where you will stay."

Ruby bowed and opened the door for Deadpool. Deadpool, for once, was being a gentleman and let Ruby went first.

"Lady first." He said.

As he walked through the school, many eyes were laid upon him. Well it's not every day you got a guy dressed in red suit armed to teeth visit your school.

"Yeah ladies take a good look at the one, only Deadpool, your lovely Merc with a Mouth. Form a line please." He yelled as he saw some of the girls giggling at him.

Soon they arrived at the dorm, as they walked up the highest floor and Ruby showed him his room. She excused himself and left when Deadpool entered the room. The room was bland, but provided enough facilities needed for him. There was a computer, a small kitchen, a built in the wall closet, a single bed in the corner and a shower.

"You have been surprisingly quite a time now K. What's up ?" Deadpool asked.

"**If I talk to you who are going to write this shit ?"**

"Good point. But a single bed ? Aren't you gonna let me have some lemons ?"

"**When the time come, I will rent you a motel. Don't worry."**

"Right, now what ?"

"**I don't know. Readers, how about some reviews and aspirations ?"**

"Oh I smell a to be continued."

**Author's note : To be continued, if provided enough reviews. Anyway, I know I got a lot of stuffs I must do, but hey, every one love the 'pool. But I promised to update my other stuffs soon. Now give me reviews and some chimichangas.**


	2. The Doctor

**Author's note : Aw right, this is K, and we are here with mister Deadpool. Chapter 2 here we go.**

Deadpool woke up in his single bed. A bit hazy, but still good to go. After brushing his teeth and washing his face, he put on his usual attire, the black and red leather suit with a red mask to go with. And then a black suit with red tire and the guns and pouches underneath the jacket. The katanas hang over his shoulder should complete the image.

"A suit ?"

"**You got work at school. A bit less intimidating, but I heard the females staffs are quite alright."**

"Then we are good to go." Deadpool said as he snatched a slice of pizza before heading to the door. The door was opened to reveal Ruby holding a stack of paper.

"Ruby ?"

"Mr. Deadpool. I am here to show you your office to school, also the opening ceremony." Ruby said. "And to your working space. You are registered as doctor of the school. I assumed that in your life of merc you know how to treat a wound ?"

"I'm not as good as that sissy Weasel or the fat ass Killbrew, but I can patch myself up."

"**Oh dear god, Dr. Deadpool. Can you imagine how that sounds ?"**

"Uh huh. And complete with a doctor coat. Everyone wants to meet he awesome Deadpool. Say Ruby, how's the students here ?"

"They are okay I guess. I am friends with some of them, and they are nice."

"Good good. Lead the way. Off we go."

As they walked through the eerie woods, Ruby told him about her past, the meeting with her friends and how she ended up here. And of course, everything ended with her trademark phrase "Many many things happened."

On another side of the Campus a young boy with unruly black hair was in a tug-a-war with two hot girls. One of them had long pink hair and a smoking hot body while the other had blue hair in a ponytail and a body most women would kill for.

The lucky son of a bitch in the middle is Tsukune Aono. The reason he was in the tug-a-war between the two beauties, whose names were Moka Akashiya and Kurumu Kurono, was because Kurumu had come onto him again by rubbing her breasts against him nearly making him pass out. Moka had not liked it so much and began pulling him away, but Kurumu began pulling back creating the tug-a-war.

Then a knife made of ice came from nowhere and struck Kurumu in the forehead making some blood gush out. Another pretty girl came out from a bush, and by that I mean a tree, not the dirty thoughts you perverts have in minds. She was wearing stripped purple stockings, white shoes, the standard girl's uniform skirt, a white sweatshirt with blue sleeves, and a black singlet underneath and had a belt strapped to her left thigh. She also had short purple hair that went down to her shoulders, deep blue eyes and a lollipop in her mouth. To finish her look she had a small yellow pendant around her neck. Her name was Mizore Shirayuki.

With that happening Kurumu and Mizore engaged in their usual cat fight by trying to bonk each other on the head standing in one spot, but swinging their arms at each other. It was quite a comical sight.

"Tsukune-san, Moka-san !" A young girl voice called out. It was girl that looked to be only 12 years old. She has short brown black hair and purple eyes. She wore a different kind of uniform than most of her classmates. She wore a yellow pleated checkered skirt like other female students, but she also wore a brown cape, a pink top, a yellow bow to keep everything together, and a light brown witch's hat. She also wears brown shoes and pale yellow knee socks. In her hand she was carrying a wand that looked like it had a pentagram attached to the end. This was Youkai Academy's smartest, youngest student and final member of Tsukune's Harem, Yukari Sendo.

"Hello Yukari-chan." They both greeted.

Tsukune eventually managed to break the fight between the Succubus and the Yuki-Onna making them both blush because Tsukune touched them both and when they saw each other's blush they glared at each other.

Eventually they just began talking about stuff when Yukari spotted a bunch of big guys coming their way. There must have been at least five of them and each of them supported nasty grins on their faces.

"Um… guys." Yukari said nervously.

"What is it Yukari-chan ?" Tsukune asked. Yukari simply pointed ahead of them and each of them stood up and stood in front of Tsukune protectively. The apparent leader laughed as he stopped in front of them.

"Look at this boys, little clown Aono needs a bunch of girls to protect his pathetic hide."

"What do you want ?" Moka asked slightly nervous, but attempting to put on a brave face.

"Well that's easy." the leader said. "We want what every guy on this campus wants. The four beauties of the Academy that hang out with this wimp. And we are not leaving until we get what we want."

"It's only Monday and we already got to fight jerks like them." Mizore said in a calm sarcastic tone "Not cool." Yet despite her tone she was nervous. These guys were huge and slightly intimidating.

They began advancing towards them when they heard the sound of a punching, kicking and grunting and the loud noise of a cross motor. They turned around to see one of the guys get thrown towards them and onto the ground. His face was all messed up and bloodied.

And if you wondered what happened, we should go back a moment earlier. As Deadpool and Ruby walked towards the school building, our lovely Merc picked up the word "clown". And Hell hath no wrath like Deadpool roundhouse kick a clown Chuck Norris style.

Upon hearing this, Deadpool pulled out a chainsaw and pulled the start cable.

"Where is that clown ?" He yelled. "And they call me insane, but I knew it. No matter what happened, a clown is always involved somehow."

And then he ran off, leaving Ruby flabbergasted behind. Deadpool ran off to the nearest commotion, and with that I mean the showdown between Tsukune's harem and the gang. And of course, most of the gang members started to transform and attacked Deadpool. Of course, what do you gonna do when you have a guy dressed in a suit with a mask on running at you, a chainsaw in hands screaming "Where is the clown ?" ?

**But I never said it was a smart move to attack Deadpool**. Deadpool kicked the first guy square in the face with both feet planted on him, even before the poor boy was transformed. Deadpool was serious about finishing that dude off, but then again realize the job, and the boy was a student. And anyone who knew Deadpool should know he was not one to fail a job, especially where lots and lots of cold hard cash is involved.

And which brought us back to the present. Deadpool, still a bit enrage by the name of clown, keep screaming.

"Where is the god damn clown ?"

Tsukune, who was smart enough, quickly pointed at the gang leader and yelled.

"He is the clown."

Which followed was an epic battle, and even though one sided, Deadpool won. **I couldn't bring myself to tell you the original version without breaking the T-rate of this story…**

"Awe man." Deadpool muttered. "F-beep-k the god damn censoring system. Dude, you did just censored me."

"**Well excuse me if I try to me a gentle man." I sighed. "Okay fine I will tell an alternate version without the gore and all that you had planned."**

"Well fuck you mister nice guy."

"**Ignoring, deep breath… okay we are good."**

And here we are, the showdown between Deadpool and some unknown gang leader ( seriously, a side character that only appeared in one chapter and prompted to get his ass kicked by the main character should not have name ).

"You got a death wish pal, no one jumps one of my boys for no reason and lives to tell about it." Deadpool gave a fake yawn and waved his hand dismissively.

"Why do you talk that much, you don't deserve this much screen time."

"What the fuck are you talking about ?"

"Nevermind."

"That's all you got. Say something you little shit." The leader charged for a punch.

He was blocked when Deadpool's feet came down from above and landed on the face. Deadpool simply teleported and came down as the huge guy fell on his back to the ground. Deadpool began stomping on the guy's back hard making him grunt and cry out in pain.

"Leader's down." One of the conscious goons said. "We've gotta help him."

The other two were shaking. "Are you crazy, there's no way I'm taking on that psycho."

Deadpool kept stomping on the guy's head hard enough to crack the ground and kept stomping until half of his head was now buried in the ground. The others winced from the sound of the ground cracking. Well either it was the ground or the guy's nose, but they didn't know and didn't want to know.

Deadpool, meanwhile, was having so much fun stomping on the clown's head.

"It should be making squeaking noise, right ? Well whatever. One pretty flower down, two pretty red noses down, three pretty big shoes down…" Deadpool kept singing while counting how many times he had hit the "clown". After he was down, he turned back to the goons, who were stupid enough not to run when they had the time.

"Now first question, what are you doing to these kids ? Innie minie mynie mo." Deadpool randomly pointed. "You, asshole in the middle, answer."

"I guess we were going to ruff up that Tsukune kid a bit." Next thing he knew he had a foot stuck between his crotch sending him to the ground in pain and fell unconscious, shocking all others present.

"Correct." Deadpool said and stood up to face the other ones. "Now the next question, answer it right and you get a prize. Why are you bothering these guys?"

The other two guys were shaking badly. "We were sick of him getting all the attention of the girls." Then before either of them could blink they were pounded down into the ground by lightning quick punches and kicks.

"Ding ding ding, correct answer. Your prize is a beating from the world famous Deadpool." Deadpool laughed, but then switched to serious. "Now go and apologize or else the next time I'll make you an appointment with lady Death herself."

They all screamed in fright and picked up the unconscious ones and ran away screaming sorry at the top of their voices, leaving the leader with his face stuck on the ground.

"Hey kids, you good to go ?" Deadpool asked in perfect Japanese.

"Yeah." Tsukune said. "Thanks for stopping those guys."

"I didn't do it for ya kiddo." He said, "I just want to beat the shit out of a clown, that's all."

"Um… who are you desu ?" Yukari asked.

"Remember the name Deadpool." he introduced "I'm a part-time Merc, and I'm the new doctor here, you can call me Doc, Dr. Deadpool or Deadpool-sensei. Any questions ?"

As none of them asked anything, Deadpool walked away.

"A'right." He said, "I gotta go now. I still need to prepare my speech at the ceremony. See you guys 'round kids."

**Author's note : Okay so that's it for today people.**

"Aw come on, I didn't get much 4th wall breaking time much." Deadpool whined.

"**You got to beat up a clown, so get over it."**

"Okay fine. So what are we going to do tonight ?"

"**What we do every night Deadpool. Taking over the internet."**

_They're Deadpool and The K  
>Yes, Deadpool and The K<br>One is a genius  
>The other's insane.<br>They're fanfic addicts  
>Their genes have been fucked<br>They're wacky  
>They're Deadpool and The K, Deadpool, K<br>Deadpool, K, Deadpool_

_Before each night is done  
>Their plan will be revealed<br>By the dawning of the sun  
>They'll take over the net.<em>

_They're Deadpool and The K  
>Yes, Deadpool and The K<br>Their insane campaign  
>Is easy to explain.<br>To prove their worthless bet_

_They'll overthrow the Web  
>They're wacky<br>They're Deadpool and The K, Deadpool, K  
>Deadpool, K, Deadpool !<br>_


End file.
